Really Lazy Reporting: Ranking the fights at UFC 283

Ohhhh my god. Oh my god. Holy moly. This is REALLY BAD.

Imagine your dad had never seen UFC before. No clue who anyone was. He’s heard of Conor McGregor, maybe, and thinks his whiskey must be bad (fair). Terrorists abduct him and give him 24 hours to watch as many fight highlights as he can, and rank the upcoming UFC 283 fights.

Ladies and gentlemen: Jeff Wagenheim!

I imagine Wagenheim has covered the UFC for longer than 24 hours. So this is inexcusable. He ranks Shogun Rua vs Ihor Potieria as the fourth most important fight to “to pay attention to.”

If you’ve paid attention to Shogun Rua after the Obama administration, you know that he should have left the sport a while ago. It will be ugly. I consider myself very well-versed in the UFC roster and I felt lame when I had to look him up. Then I saw that his best W is against something named Lukasz Sudolski. And I relaxed.

At #3, we have what figures to be an absolute mauling of Lauren Murphy. I mean, Jesus Christ – he took the top three events on the card and copy/pasted them onto his list. C’mon brother.

This is so bad.

The most exciting fighter on the card is Terrance “T-Wrecks” McKinney. Wagenheim shouts out his opponent. One imagines Wagenheim barely knows who T-Wrecks is. This is the first time we’ve seen Gilbert “Durinho” Burns step into the ring since what was, for me, the best fight of 2022 against Khamzat Chimaev. He faces a man in Neil Magny that is down to bang. The grappling should be pretty fun too. But nope – Durinho is relegated to honorable mention.

God bless. It’s a bad card but do better than this.